The Big Game
|Time(s) Available:||before 10:00 p.m.|
|Unlocks:||Jock Boss Fight|
The Big Game is a mission in Chapter 4.
Earnest is reading a men's magazine, reciting an imaginary conversation he'd have with the centerfold to himself. Jimmy, carrying the Mascot costume, enters the Observatory quietly and listens, laughing under his breath. Just as Earnest has the centerfold say "Take me to the hay barn", Jimmy interrupts him.
After Earnest tries to hide the magazine, he tells Jimmy that Operation Trojan Cow is ready to start. He sends Jimmy to talk to the other "field agents."
The Big Game is a very long mission that consists of several small errands. The clock disappears for the duration of the mission.
Jimmy is dressed in the Mascot costume. First, he must perform the Mascot's Cow Dance for Thad. He has infinite tries, but Thad won't let him out of the Observatory's courtyard until he's performed the dance successfully. As he's heading towards the football field, three Jocks stop him and make him do the Cow Dance.
During most of the mission, any time any of the Jocks spot Jimmy, they'll demand that he do the Cow Dance and attack him if he doesn't. They will, however, stop attacking him immediately if he does the dance. Successfully doing the dance causes them to run away, failing causes them to attack him. Even the cheerleaders will attack him if he doesn't do the dance right.
- Fatty is behind the western bleachers. He gives Jimmy some super glue and has him apply it to the team benches. Juri sits down and gets stuck.
- Bucky is behind the east bleachers. He gives Jimmy a firecracker rigged football and tells him to swap it for the real ball. Dan and Angie (in her cheerleader uniform) are by the clubhouse, and make him do the Cow Dance. If Jimmy takes too long during this step, the rigged football will explode, failing the mission. Once the ball is planted in the bag, Dan and Kirby run out of the clubhouse. Dan runs down field to catch a pass from Kirby, and is knocked out by the exploding ball.
- Algie is on the path to Harrington House. He tells Jimmy to urinate in the sports drink cooler the Jocks use for the game. It is kept in the hallway under the gym near the locker rooms. Mandy, Angie and Christy are practicing in the gym, and Jimmy has to do the Cow Dance to get by them. Once Jimmy has done his business in the cooler, Kirby takes a drink and vomits while Mandy squeals in disgust and Damon laughs.
- Melvin is on the path to the Auto Shop. He gives Jimmy marbles to sprinkle on the field. As soon as Jimmy has done so, three Jocks head to it to do some laps. They trip on the marbles.
Once Jimmy has done these four tasks, he has to speak to Cornelius. Cornelius is waiting by the fountain, and he tells Jimmy to go to the controls for the scoreboard and switch it. The football team and Mr. Burton are all over the field and the cheerleaders are in front of the scoreboard. Jimmy must avoid their notice and do the Cow Dance if they see him until the way is clear. He then makes the changes Cornelius programmed. The scoreboard now scrolls "Jocks play with their balls."
A cutscene starts after Jimmy finishes with the scoreboard. Ted and Damon are demanding to know who messed with the team. Jimmy takes the mascot's headpiece off. The Jocks threaten to kill him, and the next mission starts.
- The model in the magazine that Earnest is talking to during the mission intro is the girl in the tiny miniskirt on the posters in the Aquaberry store.
- Edna's scolding line in Hattrick vs. Galloway when Jimmy gets the bottle from the cafeteria was meant to be used in this mission. She originally watches over the cooler, and if she catches Jimmy spiking it, she will say the aforementioned line.
- Beatrice was supposed to be a field agent herself, but was scrapped for reasons unknown. She was going to tell Jimmy to put perfume that was found in the Girls' Locker Room and spray it into the lockers of the football team. The line can be found in her audio files.
- Due to unknown reasons the Greasers and the Preppies would be hostile to Jimmy in this mission despite him having 100% standing with both the cliques, and would attack him on sight.